Nasty points west!

I'm packing up and leaving town! (Well, for a few weeks, anyway ... ) If you're in Seattle, Denver or St. Paul, stop by any of these fabulous shows (and classes) and say hello!

SEATTLE:

Friday, May 18th at 7:30
rePRODUCTION!
Oddfellows Building, West Hall - 1525 10th Ave., Seattle, WA
General seating: $18 in advance, $20 at door
VIP tables- $200 Tables seat four and come with champagne and gifts

It’s not looking too good, ma’am. You seem to have conservatives in your vagina. And sir, you might want to get checked out too, these things have a tendency to spread. You’re going to need a deep and repeated plunging of your political system. The only treatment is…rePRODUCTION!

On Friday, May 18th, join us for a rock-hard, tits-out, in-your-face affirmation of human rights. A full-frontal reprisal to the recent assault on fair access to comprehensive reproductive healthcare. But this is not just a burlesque show. Join us also for an inspiring and fact-filled panel discussion with local sexperts on the front lines. Find out how you can get involved in the fight for reproductive rights!

Sponsored by Babeland and The Tin Table. All proceeds will be donated to NARAL Pro-Choice Washington.

Performances by:
From NYC, NASTY CANASTA
Living Legend, VELVET ICE
HEIDI VON HAUGHT
RANDI RASCAL
WIGGY STARDUST
BILLY CORAZON
DISGRACE JONES
ERNIE VON SCHMALTZ
FLIRTY SANCHEZ
MAFIA MINX
MAN JOHNSON
QUEEN SHMOOQUAN
SIR EDDIE VAN GLAM

And hosted by PAULA THE SWEDISH HOUSEWIFE

With panelists:
ALISON MONDI, Dir. of Communications and Public Policy for NARAL Pro-Choice WA
JANET CHUNG, Legal and Legislative Council for Legal Voice
ASHLEY ALLEN, sex educator with Babeland
The CAIR Project
AND MORE!

•••••
COLORADO:
•••••

Monday, May 21st at 9:30pm
I'll be joining the lovely Kitty Crimson at 3 Kings Tavern - 60 South Broadway, Denver, CO!



Tuesday, May 22nd at 8:00pm
FRENCH QUARTER FOLLIES with Frenchie Renard
at Voodoo Comedy Playhouse - 1260 22nd St., Denver, CO
Admission: $9


Wednesday May 23, from 6:30pm-8:00pm
BURLESQUE PERFORMANCE THEORY with Nasty Canasta
at The Modbo- 17C E. Bijou, Downtown Colorado Springs
$20.00 (Cash Only)
Register Email- Lolaspitfire[at]gmail.com
(Drop/Walk In's Welcome)

No matter how effortless a performance appears to an enthralled audience, the burlesque artist knows that acts don’t simply happen: every aspect of the number is carefully crafted, from perfectly-placed glitter to a well-oiled zipper to expertly-timed bumps and grinds. The skillful stripteaser works for months building and rehearsing before an act hits the stage. Before you go blind rhinestoning the inside of every pocket, though, it’s important to ask what each individual element adds to your performance as a whole. On the burlesque stage it’s not enough to simply “take it off”; by examining the specific artistic choices that go into the creation of a number, you can create a truly unique and knockout burlesque performance. In this class we will:

• discuss how to make deliberate decisions about when and how to use the burlesque basics already in your arsenal (glove peels, tassel twirls, and other elements of the tease) to tell the specific ‘story’ of each act.
• explore the ways in which the theatrical elements of character, performance arc, stagecraft and comedy can enrich every act, from classic striptease to the most neo-burlesque.
• learn to look beyond the obvious choices in costuming, music and props to confound expectations, surprise and dazzle an audience.

This is a lecture- and discussion-based class intended for burlesque performers with more than six months’ experience, and is open to students of all genders and performance styles.


Thursday, May 24th at 8pm
Naughty Pierre's Burlesque and Comedy Extravaganza
at Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret - 16th St. Mall at Arapahoe, Denver, CO
$20 general seating/$25 VIP; advance tickets available HERE

Naughty Pierre, your irascible and quick-witted host, has assembled a cast of adorable Burlesque dancers and Vaudeville variety acts to offer a night of excitement, laughter, and unforgettable fun!

Featuring old-fashioned burlesque from the ’20s and ’30s as well as modern twists on the classic form, this show is sexy, sassy, and fun. Every high-energy night includes comedians, torch song singers, puppet shows, belly dancers, magicians… Grab a date – it’s a perfect date night – or throw your bachelorette/bachelor parties in the classiest room in town.

This show is for OPEN MINDED, fun-loving folks who want a night of over-the-top grown-up entertainment, tongue-in-cheek humor and true-blue BAWDY fun! Appropriate for 18+.


Friday, May 25th at 11pm
Midnite Martini's Sexy Circus Sideshow
at Lannie's Clocktower Cabaret - 16th St. Mall at Arapahoe, Denver, CO
$20 general seating/$25 VIP; advance tickets available HERE

Escape the long work week and join the beautiful and talented, dancer/aerialist extraordinaire, Midnite Martini for her Sexy Circus Sideshow. Visually gorgeous and soul stirring, it’s a virtual circus of mystery and joyous fun that is sure to take you on a sensual journey into the variety/cirque world.

You’ll be entertained by a revolving group of entertainers and variety acts that can’t be seen anywhere else in town: aerial artists, strong men, belly dancers, acrobats, jugglers, stilt walkers, musicians, and comedians. Everyone is sure to find something they love!

Doors open at 11pm and the show will begin shortly thereafter. Enjoy a late night in the luxury of our gorgeous cabaret!

•••••

ST. PAUL:

•••••

Saturday, May 26th at 7pm & 10pm

BURLESQUE AT THE MUSEUM

at THE HISTORIC MOUNDS THEATRE - 1029 Hudson Rd, Saint Paul, MN

Tickets: $15 Presale/$20 at the door • VIP $30 Presale/$35 at the door.

Toil & Trouble Presents brings you a trip into SCIENCE, HISTORY, NATURE and CULTURE!
Your evening will be hosted by East Side native and Twin Cities Comedienne Colleen Kruse

Starring:
From New York City: Nasty Canasta
From Chicago and San Francisco: Tila Von Twirl, Lola Martinet, and Teddy Bare, known nationwide as The Dolls of Doom

Also featuring: Ophelia Flame (one week before she competes in Las Vegas for the title of Reigning Queen of Burlesque!!)

Performances from:
Redbone, Musette, Tomahawk Tassels, Adam Dykes, Luna Rouge, the Producers of T&T, and more!

VIP tickets include:
-front of the theatre table seating
-seating assigned in order of purchase
-free admission into the T&T afterparty (also at the Mounds)
-a gift from the producers of T&T
-buy 4 VIP tickets and receive a bottle of wine!

•••••

... and then, back in NYC:

•••••

Sunday, May 27th at 8pm

WASABASSCO'S CLUSTERF*CK OF SMORGASBØRD

at The Bell House - 149 7th St., Brooklyn

Tickets: $12 | Advance purchase available HERE

It's coming, you can't stop it, and you won't want to: the latest entry in The Bell House & Wasabassco's series of You-have-Monday-off-so-you-can-party-like-an-idiot-on-Sunday Holiday Mega Events.

Featuring over a dozen of the finest live performers ever to grace a Brooklyn stage, coming together with their biggest, most awe inspiring routines to create a perfect storm of sexiness, stupidity and pure entertainment!

Starring: Evelyn Vinyl, Hazel Honeysuckle, Jenny C'est Quoi, Kita St Cyr, Mala Morrigan, Nasty Canasta, Natasha King, Penny Wren, Sapphire Jones, Stormy Leather, Tansy, and Doc Wasabassco, with Living Statue Galataea.

Plus: We'll be picking nominees for the Best Dressed Man and Woman in Brooklyn, with big prizes for the stylish winners!

La Vie En Rose

Recently I had the chance to rejoin one of my favorite shows as a guest performer:

 

 

The Champagne Riot, a "vintage celebration that serves up an intoxicating cocktail of hot jazz, scintillating burlesque and Vaudevillian frivolity," is a fabulous celebration perpetrated by Jezebel Express, Gelber & Manning, Gin Minsky and Dandy Wellington. It features a stunning cast, one of the fanciest audiences to be found in NYC and - a rare treat for me - incredible live music ... it's always fun to shake it up and perform a familiar number to new music; in this case, a fantastic old tune called 'Back In My Own Backyard'.

This Weekend in Our Nation's Capital

Join me in Washington DC this weekend!

HOT TODD LINCOLN'S 40th BIRTHDAY-a-PALOOZATHON

Sunday, April 22nd at 9pm

at The Red Palace - 1212 H St., NE, Washington DC

Tickets: $10

Come celebrate Hot Todd Lincoln's 40th birthday with Burlesque! Music! Sideshow! and Belly Dance!

Nasty Canasta, NYC's "Girl with the 44DD Brain," was 2nd runner-up in the 2010 Miss Exotic World Pageant and is the reigning Cheese Queen of Coney Island.

Maria Bella is Baltimore's Burlesque Queen & co-founder of Gilded Lily Burlesque.

Swami YoMahmi is the founder & artistic director of the Cheeky Monkey Sideshow, and is a multiple Darwin Award nominee.

GiGi Holliday, "The chocolate that melts your heart," is producer of Red Palace's "Ladies Night Out" and a performer in Gilded Lily Burlesque.

Mourna Handful is a founding member of Black Tassel Boolesque and quite appropriately named!

Mischa More is a dark fusion belly dancer who is new to the Red Palace stage, but has been enchanting audiences in the DC area for quite a while with her beautiful, and expressive numbers.
She's performed with the DC Gurly Show, as well as a number of local and national belly dance events.

Spanky Roundbottom is the producer of Twisted Knickers Burlesque and has performed in the Jim Thorpe Burlesque Festival.


$10
21+
doors at 8, show at 9pm

Let's get dramatic!

Naked Girls Reading

SHAKESPEARE

Wednesday, April 18th at 9:00 pm


"High and mighty, you shall know I am set naked on your kingdom." - Hamlet, act IV, scene vii

The collected works of William Shakespeare have stood the test of centuries; now, they meet the Naked Girls! Join New York's "Best Story Hour" (The Village Voice Best of NY) as Naked Girls Reading NYC presents SHAKESPEARE: in-the-buff readings of Shakespearean soliloquies, scenes and sonnets; modern interpretations of these classic works; historical musings on the identity of literature's most mysterious genius, and more.

Host Nasty Canasta is joined by Sapphire Jones, Iris Explosion and special guest Ludella Hahn as the Naked Girls "bare the Bard", at Naked Girls Reading SHAKESPEARE.
Iambic pentameter never looked this good.


at Under St. Marks - 94 St. Marks Place, NYC

Tickets: $20 | 2 for $35

Seating is limited - advance purchase recommended
CLICK HERE or call 212-868-4444

Ready for spring? So am I!

Wednesday, April 11th at 10pm
THE SHOWGIRL CURE FOR WHAT AILS YOU
at Nurse Bettie - 106 Norfolk St., NYC

Shelly The Singing Siren gets you through this hump day, with a little help from Trixie Little, Tansy, Nasty Canasta and Hazel Honeysuckle. Come early for some pre-show go-go, stay late for the fabulous cocktails, and catch some lovely ladies in between!
And as always there's no cover, courtesy of Nurse Bettie herself.

Friday, April 13 at 8pm
FRIDAY NIGHT BURLESQUE at AFFAIRE
at Affaire Bistro & Lounge - 50 Ave. B, NYC

Start your weekend off right EVERY Friday with dinner and a show at 8pm in this intimate East Village French bistro. Treat yourself to classic and casual French cuisine, delicious wine and cocktails, as Doc Wasabassco presents a selection of the finest burlesque performers in NYC. This week features performances by Hazel Honeysuckle, Nasty Canasta & Peekaboo Pointe.

Performance starts at 8:00 sharp
RESERVATIONS are strongly recommended.

(212) 375-0665
www.affairenyc.com
$10

Friday, April 13 at 10pm
THE CHAMPAGNE RIOT presents "La Vie En Rose"
at Dominion NY - 428 Lafayette Street, NYC

It's our Spring Fling, and The Rioteers are feeling friskier than ever! Celebrate the sultry rainshowers and blushing flowers with a glamorous evening of hot jazz and even hotter burlesque!

STARRING:
The Girl With The 44-Double D Brain MISS NASTY CANASTA
Mind-Bendingly Bendable Beauty EKATERINA
Tap-Dancing Dervish GIN MINSKY
The Girl Who Spins You Round EVELYN VINYL
Boylesque Sensation GO-GO HARDER
and The Fastest Girl in Town MISS JEZEBEL EXPRESS
with EMCEE DANDY WELLINGTON
and Hot Jazz by THE GELBER & MANNING BAND

It's a vintage fantasy world of dancing girls and vaudevillian temptations. We'll be singin' in the rain and dancing the night away on Dominion's wooden dance floor, and we do hope you'll join us!

Dress To Impress: Bring colour to our world! We want our party to bloom with exotic flowers and decadent blossoms. Bright and romantic for the ladies, carnation-clad elegance for the gents. Fluttery gowns, flapper favorites, old Hollywood glamour... wear whatever puts a spring in your step!

9PM Doors/10PM Show
$15/Advance, $20/Door
Advance Tickets available HERE

Saturday, April 14 at 11pm
WASABASSCO BURLESQUE at UNION HALL
at Union Hall - 702 Union St., Brooklyn, NY

It's our monthly home show at Union Hall! Hosted by Sapphire Jones, with Hazel Honeysuckle, Ludella Hahn, Marlo Marquise, Nasty Canasta and our sexy stage kitten Mala Morrigan.

Admission $12
Our Union Hall shows SELL OUT! Please buy your tickets in advance HERE

It's bunnyduckiechicky time!

It's almost time for my favorite holiday of all: Bunnyduckiechicky Day! (Also lambs.)

Given that I maintain the aesthetic sensibilities and interests of an 8-year-old girl, I can't but delight in a time of year that celebrates pastel colors, adorable rodents ... and Peeps.

Although there is now a Peep for all seasons, I have long been a fan of the classic yellow marshmallow chicken (I was, in fact, a card-carrying member of the Peeps fan club at one point) - so it only makes sense that a few years ago I decided to be a Peep, and created a holiday fan dance in celebration of this most sublime and adorable of candy treats.

You can catch a rare seasonal performance of The Peepshow at this week's Wasabassco show at The Way Station ... be there or forever hold your peeps!

Sketch by Luma Rouge

Photos: Melody Mudd

Naked, steam-powered literary excitement!

Naked Girls Reading
STEAMPUNK

Wednesday, March 21st at 9:00 pm

Before there were rocketships, there were airships; before there were robots, there were automata and 'mechanical men.' And before there was electricity, there was steam. Join New York's "Best Story Hour" (The Village Voice Best of NY) for in-the-buff readings of science-fiction adventure tales from a pre-Industrial age, as Naked Girls Reading NYC presents STEAMPUNK: featuring writings from the genre's earliest origins in Victorian literature, classics by Jules Verne and H.G. Wells, and contemporary tales of Analytical Engines and clockwork men..

Host Nasty Canasta is joined by Dangrrr Doll and Justina Walford - plus audience favorite Barbara Gordon, The Naked Librarian - as the Naked Girls share stories of a steam-powered future that never was at Naked Girls Reading STEAMPUNK.
Dirigible parking available on a first-come, first-served basis.

at Under St. Marks - 94 St. Marks Place, NYC

Tickets: $20 | 2 for $35

Seating is limited - advance purchase recommended
CLICK HERE or call 212-868-4444

The Naked Girls, Reading (photo by KL Thomas):
Hazel Honeysuckle, Franny Fluffer, Scooter Pie, Creamy Stevens
Nasty Canasta, Jenny C'est Quoi